A phone rings. It is answered.
“Hello?” answered Allison.
“Oh hellooooooo Allison,” replied Alexander Yu, in a smirking tone.
Little did either of them know… the next 72 hours would be some of the most marvelous hours they would ever experience in their entire lives.
Arriving at the Chill bar, (nicknamed the Chili Bar because it is more rowdy than chill), Alex was bogged down with all of his traveling belongings. Allison raced out of the bar to greet him, where she coaxed the bouncer to allow Alex to come inside where they promptly chugged a margarita. Quickly deciding that the best plan of action would be to drop off all of his belongings at the James Lighthill House, quickly chug vodka, and then race back to the bar.
So they did…
Then promptly took about 8 to 10 tequila shots….
With a bartender named Karen…
All over the club….
And drunk dialed thousands…
Then, when it seemed time, the two ventured home with one of the other compadres on the program. Alex fastened a Harry Potter wand on the way there. When the two returned, shenanigans ensued. Though they were too blackout to remember.
They were told:
The two entered into the dormitory’s kitchen, where they chatted for a half hour with other drunk people. Then they retreated to the room, where they casted spells upon each other. Then, it was reported that this conversation took place:
“Should we go back out?”
“We should go back out.”
Slamming of a door
Slamming of another door
Giggles from the parking lot.
The two managed to recall that then they walked up a block, ran into a bar, ordered tequila shots, met girls from Long Island, and left without paying for the shots. Then they walked up the block to another bar where they were denied entrance because at this point it was 4 am. The two walked over to two individuals who seemed rather sketchy. Alex decided to bum a cigarette from the man, who was very short. Allison chatted with the woman. Soon the two realized that they were dealing with a man named Daniel and a woman named Danielle. It seemed ridiculous; but it also seemed somehow okay. Daniel and Danielle were also allegedly dating, which also seemed ridiculous because she was absurdly taller than him.
Blackout. The two ended up talking to a man with a bottle of Jack Daniels. They do not know if they drank from the bottle. Blackout. Chicken stand: Chicken is consumed. Blackout. Kleptomania kicks in and Alex and Allison are stealing everything they can pick up. A boulder, a sunglasses stand, a sign reading: pedestrians only.
8:30 am on Saturday, July 4th
Alex and Allison wake up and begin to yell in the dorm room that has paper thin walls. Brigid, Allison’s next door neighbor also arrives. Giggling ensues. Michael comes in. The four decide that an epic breakfast is in order. Alex and Allison are still drunk and are finding everything hilarious as they see the boulder, sunglasses stand, and sign scattered about the streets from the night before.
Breakfast ensues and Alex and Allison are incessantly giggling. Then it came time to drink again, in honor of the holiday. After a few beers, a pub crawl begins! The two bring an American flag; it is humorous. They take thousands of pictures throughout the bar crawl and then return to the dorm to make burgers. Alex passes out and Allison cooks for 12 people.
Then it was straight to Club W! Rumor had it that Lady Gaga, Kid Cudi, and Kanye were all going to be making an appearance. After several shots and several hours of ridiculous dancing, Kid Cudi arrives. He performs and then moshes in the crowd. Alex caresses Kid Cudi’s head while Allison reaches for his hand. She is pushed away from Kid Cudi by a rather large bouncer. It is silly.
After the group decided it was time to go home, Alex decided it was time to get french fries. He runs across a busy London intersection and orders some chips. Returns to ask for five pounds to borrow, returns with the chips.
Suddenly, like a beam of light permeating from the club, Kid Cudi is escorted from the club. Alex quickly jumps on the opportunity to offer KC french fries in a British accent.
“Kid Cudi, would you like some chips?!?!?!?”
“I don’t think you want to do that,” retorted a bouncer.
The two finally make it back home across London, after a ridiculous cab ride. More chips are purchased, and the two quickly pass out. The next morning came too quickly. Allison arose around 11 am, and proceeded to write a paper on Hamlet. Alex slept in until about 1pm, when he decided to pressure Allison into finishing her paper so they could try to go to Wimbledon.
After arriving 3 hours late to Wimbledon, the two quickly notice that they probably missed the match entirely. They were proved wrong!! It turned out to be the longest, most epic match in Wimbledon final history. They purchased tickets for 5 pounds and ran into the stadium with the fifth set score at 6-5 Federer.
“Oh my god.”
“Oh my god.”
“We’re at Wimbledon.”
An amazing afternoon ensued with amazing surprises and moments. Pimms and Fish n Chips were consumed after the game and that was followed by a lovely stroll throughout Wimbledon Park Village.
It was a ridiculously wonderful, wonderful, wonderful weekend.
Haphazardly co-written in the James Lighthill ground floor dormitory on July 6th, 2009
Yu Live, Yu Learn